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It's not easy being married to someone in the military

In most relationships, the spouse comes first. If you're married to someone who is in the military, though, they essentially ask them to put the military and the country first.

This means they may have to spend long hours training. They may have to move a lot when the military says that it's time to move. They may even have to leave on deployments for months on end.

There's no discussion here. If you were married to a businessperson who wanted to move to Europe for a year, you could talk about the pros and cons and make a choice together. If you're married to a military member who gets reassigned to a base in Europe, that's that.

One woman noted that she never wanted to be a military wife and actually asked her husband to consider another career while they were dating. She wanted him to leave the military as soon as he was able to do it. She wanted to have a future with him on her own terms.

In fact, when he didn't do it, they broke up. They eventually got back together and got married, but you do not have to read between the lines to see all of the red flags here. It was clear that their relationship was not going the way she wanted and that she would have to accept a different version of her future than the one she had in mind.

Not all couples can work their way through this. If you and your spouse decide to get divorced while one of you is in the military, make sure you know what legal steps to take.

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